Brucisms - Thoughts on Life, Leadership, and The Pursuit of Happiness

photo by Dey Alexander

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

The Happiness Project

The Happiness Project started off as a series of interviews by Alex Shalman, in which he asked people 5 questions about happiness. Alex has invited all bloggers to participate in his project by answering the same questions on their blog. Since Brucisms is focused on the pursuit of happiness, I definitely don’t want to be left out of the fun!

My thanks go out to Robert at www.reason4smile.com who’s article turned me on to Alex and The Happiness Project.

Without further fanfare - here is my interview, enjoy!

1. How do you define happiness?

This is a very thought provoking question, and one which I believe has changed for me throughout stages of my life. I find myself at one of those stages now. In my 30’s I defined happiness primarily through achieving success. I was very driven to advance my career, and tended to measure happiness in a very material way. I climbed my way up the ladder, made an excellent income, had nice cars, great apartment, all the trappings - but I was divorced (again), I had a weekend daddy relationship with my youngest daughter, and a strained relationship with my oldest daughter. Overall I was very busy - but not real happy.

In the past year that chapter of my life closed. I turned 40. I resigned my position as a senior executive. I reconciled with my (ex)wife and moved back home. I am a full time daddy again.

I work a lot less hours, for a lot less money - but, I’m happier. I choose to be happier by focusing on doing the things I love (like this blog) as much as the things that I need to do. I now spend about 30 hours a week consulting, and 70 hours a week blogging, fathering, loving, playing, and living.

2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your happiness now, versus when you were a child?

I’d have to say 8 or 9 most days - with the occasional rocky 7 day.

3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day)

I find that I’m happiest when I let go - when I focus on making a contribution rather than on making a living. When I give up control of the things that I never could control anyway - and just choose to be a happy steward - well, I am!

4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?

When I allow my moods and attitude to be outward referring, rather than self-referring, I find myself slipping into frustration. It is important for me to remain balanced, to remove my attachment to the things that I desire and let the universe handle the details. We spend way too much time trying to strategically maneuver ourselves to accomplish the things that we desire. It is so much more fun to do what you can each day - and then let it go.

5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?

I am really excited about this blog - and the potential it has to have a positive impact on so many lives. I am also excited about an upcoming project. On May 22 of this year it will be the 10 year anniversary of the death of my seven year old daughter Holly. To honor the impact that her young life had on so many other lives, I am very excited to be launching The Holly’s Hope Project on May 1st. During the month of May I will be sharing stories of her life, opening up a bit more about my life story, dealing with grief, finding perspective, and asking others to share the memories of their loved ones and how they coped with grief.

I will also be adding a donation button to the site for the first time. For the month of May all proceeds from Brucisms.com; including donations, affiliate proceeds, adsense revenue, and sponsorships will be donated to the Children’s Miracle Network in the memory of Holly Linn Kuykendall. After May, the donation button will remain - and for as long as I run the site all donations to the site will continue to be contributed monthly to the Children’s Miracle Network.

This project has been a dream of mine for years - and I am extremely happy to finally have the avenue to make it come true. While I hope that it will raise some money for the Children’s Miracle Network - I believe that the potential for having a safe, warm, community to share such deep emotional experiences can be the greatest miracle of all - and be a fitting way to keep Holly’s memory, charm, and twinkling smile alive.

Thank you Alex for giving me the opportunity to answer these questions. This is a great project!

- Bruce

For another great article on happiness read, What is Happiness? from Peter at iwillchangeyourlife.

Want to share your happiness? Join The Happiness Project, too!

Related posts:

1. Tina Su, Where Are You?
2. Daily Inspiration: Carl Sandburg
3. Firefox, Graph Paper Press, and Goals